There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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