i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
