I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
