Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
