I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
