my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
