I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
