First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
