I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
