I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
