Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
