I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
