I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
