Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
