I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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