...so i touched it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
As shirtless as possible
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
