I want to have your abortion
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
