TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
