Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
