What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
