Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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