do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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