I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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