I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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