out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
