I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
