are you still at the devil's house?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
