I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When are your genitals available?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
