i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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