Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
