got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
