God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
