this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
