He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just want nice things and good sex
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
