My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
