Don't you send me to vm
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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