my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
