I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
PANTIES FOUND
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