you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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