ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
one might say we're banned from that church
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
