Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
