All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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