I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
