so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
