As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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