I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
