he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
