Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
