Yo dont text me then not text me
Screwed.edu
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
