I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
